Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
