Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You left your phone here
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