Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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