I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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