i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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