D3 body, D1 cock
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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