I'm going to jail i love you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
