Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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