i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
