All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize