He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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