Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
