Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
