He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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