I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
