I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
