Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
They should really pass out barf bags in church
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
