so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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