Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
are you so shy because you have an std?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
