i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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