She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
