I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
