he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
