im holly from the hills drunk
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
