i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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