the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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