ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
