I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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