Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
