I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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