i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize