i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
