I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
