his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
where are my eyebrows?
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