So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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