it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
