it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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