dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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