He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
