thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize