I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
