rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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