i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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