that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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