Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize