He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
