On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
