I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My penis needs a shock collar
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
