I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
