I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is my gift to your gina
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize