My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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