man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
