Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
