That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
