: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
