so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize