Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
