Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
