8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
