K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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