I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
