I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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