I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
