i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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