There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
