1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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