So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
