Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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