Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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