Cold hands, warm shart.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
